In Gay Relationship There’s a Perceived Value in “Being Normal”

What is “normal” in gay relationship according to psychology?

Our best leaders were mentally ill.

Dr. Nassir Ghaemi, who runs the Mood Disorders Program at Tufts Medical Center in Boston has published a new book that makes the case that many of humanities best leaders were actually mentally ill.

In order to agree on who is mentally ill you first have to agree on the definition of mental illness. The bible of mental illness is the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual (DSM). Mr. Ghaemi research concludes that meeting the criteria for a mental illness based on the DSM may actually make you more effective as a leader, especially in times of crisis. Research shows that people who are slightly manic have high energy, are more creative and can work long hours. They are also more resilient after traumatic experiences. People who are slightly depressed are more empathetic and less grandiose. In other words they are more likely to stay humble.

What does any of this have to do with the mental health of GLBT community?

Growing up queer in a straight world is stressful and traumatic. Having to hide a major part of who you are and then learning to pretend to be something you are not takes a toll. And once you are outed it’s traumatic to put up with the disapproval of others. And in many situations there is physical, verbal, and emotional abuse directed at you. As a result the community tends to have more then its fair share of mental health and addiction issues.

This article is good news for us. It shows that in spite of adversity and difficulty what makes us different can also make us excel. Now is probably the first time in modern human history where a queer person can dare to be a leader. There are GLBT people as politicians, business people and spiritual and cultural leaders. People who suffer tend to have a greater capacity for empathy towards the less fortunate.

gay relationship, gay men, couples counseling, personal coach, for same sex marriage, gay counselor, gay counseling, gay psychotherapy, gay personal coach, LGBT, gay, gay men, gay men denver, gay health, denver psychotherapy, denver psychotherapist, life coach, gay menAnother side effect of growing up queer in a straight world is that GLBT people often have low self-esteem. This plays out in our relationships and our careers. Then when we are told that we are also mentally ill, we take it as a message saying this is yet one more way we are defective. . . and the self-esteem takes another dive. Dr. Ghaemi’s research is a great way to change this downward spiral. You may be diagnosed with a mental illness so see it as an asset. Lets re-frame Gay Relationship Psychology to make it a positive for the community.

There’s more good news: In a recent article published by researchers at the University of Toronto and Harvard University they conclude that the “Biological Basis For Creativity [is] Linked To Mental Illness.” They conclude that smart and creative people take in more stimuli from the environment and use that information to decide what to do. The danger is that if you take in too much stimuli you cross over to psychosis.

To read more about my work in mental health and Gay Relationship Psychology, please click here.

Here is a link to the interview with Dr. Ghaemi:


  1. Clifford Savage says:

    Hi to every one, I am eager to read this website’s updates on a regular basis. It includes good stuff.

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