The Gay Community: Living Happily In The Straight World

Do any of these questions speak to the pain that stops your happiness?

  • Are you successful in your career yet your personal relationships are a mess?
  • Are you “smarter then the average bear” yet you don’t get credit and are often overlooked by your Supervisors?
  • Are you easily upset by other people’s callous remarks and find their slights difficult to let go of? Are you having trouble taking action to get what you want in your life because you don’t believe you are good enough?
  • Are alcohol, drugs, pornography or casual sexual encounters starting to replace meaningful relationships?
  • Are you spending a lot of time on gay hook-up sites like Grindr and letting other parts of your life fall apart?
  • Does Loving, Intimate Gay Sex elude you? Are you afraid you might be getting depressed or are you stressed out?
The Gay Community: Living Happily In Spite Of A Straight World

By [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

If any of the above feels like you, consider this:

the gay community lives in a heterosexual world, but we ARE NOT doomed to be unhappy in this situation. Are you ready to lead a happy life, not just a professionally successful life? Gay pain is the pain of growing up gay in a straight world without a visible gay community. By claiming your right to be gay and have gay community within the straight world is how you can be fully you & can be happy with yourself and your relationships!

Do you want to live your life with balance, calm, serenity and patience? If so, what’s stopping you?

Hi, I’m Larry Cappel,Personal Success Coach, Counselor and licensed Psychotherapist. I’m a gay man passionate about helping other gay men take their lives to the highest level of creative and personal fulfillment. I’m a personal coach as well as a trained and licensed psychotherapist with the skills to guide you to find your own happy and successful life.

A Personal Coach works with people like you who are open to new possibilities for a happy life and are looking for new ways to achieve happiness. With the help of a good coach who also has good counseling and psychotherapy skills can help you make positive change, set clear goals, and accomplish them.

In a CNTV Interview I discussed helping gay men & the gay community:

The entire interview can be seen by clicking here.

Here’s Why I Can Help:

In my life I’ve struggled with many of these same issues and learned to overcome them. My own life story starts with me growing up in a small town in South Dakota where:

  • a gay child living in a world where there was no gay community and no role models for people like me and what I felt.
  • feeling alone, misunderstood and unimportant.
  • pretending to be what the adults in my life wanted me to be, “straight-acting,” in order to get their approval and protection.

all leading to self-hatred, drinking, partying, and an eventual marriage that couldn’t last; all in an effort to try (and continually fail) to fit in and not feel the pain of my exclusion from the dominant culture of heterosexual men and women. I was a classic under-achiever.

Are you successful in your work but still feel like a failure in life?

I eventually switched from underachieving to overachieving, graduating from business school Beta Gamma Sigma and with high honors. From there I was off to Corporate America where I continued to excel. Funny thing was that none of it made me feel successful or happy.

I eventually started seeing a therapist who helped me understand who I really am, a gay man who is loveable and capable of loving. This personal journey eventually led me to graduate school where I studied psychology, specializing in LGBT issues and adult survivors of childhood trauma. I went to school in San Francisco where there also was a large gay community. At the same time I started a ten year study of Buddhist philosophy and mindfulness meditation training.

You might be feeling scared to reach out for help.

There are so many reasons why you might not want to reach out for help:

  • I can/should do it myself. Truth is, human beings are tribal animals. All of our problems are created by failures in our relationships. So our solutions come from success in relationships. Counseling and Coaching work when they are successful relationships.
  • I can’t afford it. How do you know? The cost of not getting help may be even more expensive! Modern successful people use coaches and counselors to stay successful. It’s a gift to yourself.
  • Nobody I know does coaching or therapy. Want to bet? Successful people know when to ask for help. They focus on what they are good at and get help with the parts they are not good at.
  • Counseling is only for crazy people. Again, not so. For all of the reasons above. Healthy people stay healthy by getting help when they need it.

My passion is to help people who find themselves. I’ve helped others:

  • Who feel they are not living up to their potential and are frittering their life away
  • In relationship crisis due to affairs, divorce, family conflict, growing apart, death, or other loss
  • Struggling with anxiety, depression, mood and stress
  • As adults with ADHD
  • As a disenfranchised person, especially gay men and their allies
  • Coming Out of any and all “closets of hiding” from your true self
  • Struggling with career, financial or other real-world issues

Email me now for help creating the life you want to lead: Contact Larry For Effective Counseling Help