Gay men, what stops you from living a rewarding life?

Hi, Larry Cappel here. I was recently interviewed by a psychotherapist, a gay man, in Sydney, Australia who has a gay counseling practice there. His name is Clinton Power. He asked me some great questions about the issues that prevent gay men from leading rewarding lives. We had a really nice discussion, You can find a link to his article below.

The first issue we talked about, what I saw as core issues, is the struggle for gay men to be single and be happy. There is so much value placed on being in relationship in this society, that we often, as gay men, think there’s something wrong with us if we aren’t in a relationship. That is one of the core issues.

Issue number 2 is that a lot of men still struggle to believe that they can come out and still be loved by the people that have loved them when they were younger and still in the closet. Can you come out and still be lovable? That’s a huge issue. We’ve made improvements in this area but the problem has not gone away.

Issue number 3 is related to the difficulty of being single and happy. Gay men value being in a relationship so much that they often get into relationships that just aren’t good for them. Maybe there’s something wrong with the relationship, but because of this fear of being single, many gay men stay in relationships that they shouldn’t stay in after they’ve gotten into those relationships. They just don’t move on and find a healthier situation.

Issue number 4 is infidelity in gay relationships. Gay men have always put a value system on sex being a free expression. Infidelity becomes a big problem in gay relationships too, and open relationships are just a challenge.

Issue number 5 is the issue of numbing ourselves with drugs and alcohol. The pain of being gay, well we can forget it for a little while if we’re drunk or high.

Those are the big issue we talked about. I don’t want to just go through the entire interview here, but I do want to invite you to read the interview and see what you think. You can leave me comments below, and Clinton would welcome your comments underneath his article on his website as well. You can read Clinton Power’s article Gay Men: What Are The Issues That Prevent Them from Living Rewarding Lives? here.

What gets in your way?

If any of this strikes a chord with you or you have any questions, reach out to me. Click this link to leave me a message or to get my phone number and give me a call.  I will respond. Thanks for taking a moment, and I look forward to connecting.


  1. Gay men frequently suffer from infidelity in their relationships and affairs are common place. As gay men we struggle to be valued and frequently try to make up for it by getting a lot of attention from other men. As a single person playing the field flirting and having sex with a lot of different men may be fine (providing your having safe sex), but in a committed relationship it has the potential for disaster.

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