Gay Relationship Long Term, what’s the secret?
The “secret sauce” for keeping any relationship going, long term, is: keeping the emotional connection strong. That’s it! You succeed in doing this and the rest works with a lot less effort. Emotional connection/emotional intimacy is the lubrication that keeps a relationship functional. It’s like the motor in your car engine; without it the engine eventually seizes up.
To keep a gay relationship going you have to be vulnerable and intimate with each other. As I’ve said in previous posts, my definition of emotional intimacy is this:
“the ability for two people to share with each other exactly how they feel in the current moment without fear of rejection or criticism by the other; and without the listening person feeling either that they did something wrong, that they are being asked to change, or that they need to rescue the speaker from their suffering.” (See my article explaining this in detail here: http://www.gaymendenver.com/intimacy-in-gay-relationships/)
What happens for many couples is that one or both of them let other worldly concerns take a higher priority then the relationship. They let their jobs, financial worries, family life, social life or hobbies take precedence over maintaining the their emotional connection to their partner.”
Research into the reason relationships fail indicate that problems like affairs often begins with neglect of the emotional bond, which then turns into resentment and unresolved conflict. These unresolved feelings between the two of you lead to avoidance, fighting, affairs, and other dysfunctional relationship symptoms.
Gay relationship long term requires the partners to address feelings sooner rather then later. I provided some basic guidelines for how to do this in a previous post. That article outlines some very clear things you can do to help keep your relationship alive. You can read this article at: http://www.gaymendenver.com/gay-relationship-tips-for-happy-successful-partnership/